"By the way I saw the Useless Article (with dyed hair), - the blighter had the cheek to get into my carriage when my train stopped at Highgate. I did a nifty exit into the next carriage. What is the Northern line coming to? I noticed Farrant had dark brown hair, sandals, no mac, it was a hot day, what looked like a '70's shirt with large collar (charity shop), but no zimmer frame, as yet." — A. Hill (18 August 2016)
Why, oh why, does Farrant dye
His hair when there is no need
For a man in his seventies to try
To cover the grey and deceive?
We can all see the whiskers white
And undyed where sideburns greet
Strangely coloured hair and light
Grey bristles evidentially meet
Startled eyes expecting the chops
To match the darkened mop on top.
Why dye? 'Cause it's in the eye
Of the beholder that this is a lie.